Day 36: That is then, this is now

I'm feeling ever so bitter because I can't ski. At my 2 week visit with Dr. Rose, I asked if I can ski yet and he just laughed. This beautiful bluebird day with lots of fresh powder makes me feel even worse.

There's absolutely nothing to do in the village besides shopping, as I found out yesterday. I zoom around on the map while nursing Tommy this morning and zero in on Hidden Lake. Seems like a doable walk.

Tommy and I navigate around potholes through the huge parking lot, enjoy the nice sidewalk by Squaw Creek meadows, cross the sketchy Olympic Valley Road, and finally we're heading uphill toward Hidden Lake. I'm sweating pushing the stroller up the icy road, thinking this should be its own Apple Fitness workout.

It turns out Hidden Lake is off a private road. I briefly consider turning around at the "No trespassing" signs. But then I think, I have a perfect 5 week old get out of jail free card in my stroller. Let's go. I'm listening to Demon Copperhead, gawking at the cabin-mansions on this road when I see an older woman walking toward me. I'm thinking, "Oh shit. She saw me from her ivory tower in one of these cabins and now she's coming to bust me and Tommy for trespassing." She's using hiking poles and as she gets closer, I see she's wearing gold Oakley Sutros. I take out my earbuds and put on my nicest white-lady-with-an-infant face. She smiles, but then asks, "Do you live around here?" Fuckkk. All blood drains out of my face and I stammer that we're just renting for the weekend. Oh, and I have my new baby is here with me. Tommy does his best to charm her and she coos and smiles at him. Phew.

I find out that Barbara has grown children and 15 grandchildren. We start talking about motherhood and I confess that it's hard to stay present. It feels like time is moving at warp speed and sometimes all I can think about is how fleeting this time with Tommy is. Barbara stops me mid-sentence and says with a serious face, "Don't do that." I'm confused, but listening. She says that every stage of parenthood is the best. She had this mantra when she would get worried about the future, "That is then, this is now." I feel like I'm going to cry. I needed to hear this.

We part ways with her telling me directions to her house. She tells me to walk right in and if her husband says anything (he won't say anything) tell him that Barbara sent me. I don't do any of that. 

We walk right back to the village. We meet Paula at the bottom of funitel and the three of us get a coffee while catching up. We meet up with tired and rosy-cheeked Brent and Alex. We decide we'll hit up sauna and steam room before dinner. Alex goes to sauna first while I nurse Tommy in my swimsuit and towel in the lobby. Once Tommy is back asleep in the stroller, I signal to Alex through the sauna door that I'm ready to go in. Alex relieves me, Brent goes to the steam room, and I sit in the sauna by myself. I hear the steam room is going off without stopping. People start steaming into the sauna from the steam room saying, "I feel like my skin is melting off. I think some guy poured water on the temperature sensor." Brent takes Tommy back to the room and Alex and I go to the fabled steam room. He tells that it was Brent who poured broke the steam room haha. Of course! 10 minutes is all we can stand in the fucking hot and loud steam room.

Bolognese for dinner with Ryan and Lynn.